Happy Halloween!

I bet you guys didn't know I was in 4-H, huh?
Isn't my prize piggy sweet?
I hope everyone in Blogland got lots of candy!

A Picture For All You Crackers Out There...

I LOVE FLORIDA!!! Words cannot express how good it feels to be home right now. But that picture says it all; bare foot and loving it. Funny though, I have become completely sensitised to the heat and humidity after living in the wonderful cool of the East Bay. Right now it is 62 degrees in Naples, and the South West Coast of FL is experiencing record lows for this time of year. It's only supposed to get up to 76 today! Ha Ha! Yesterday Normy and I walked around Coastland Mall and giggled at all the folks dressed in sweaters and pants to keep out the 70s! Brrrrr! ;-)

Getting here was all a blur after coming off the high of doula school. The weekend was pretty intense for both Smoochy and I. I was absorbed in learning a craft and having the most empowering and incredible bonding experience with about 12 other would be doulas; while Smoochy and Normy had their first real mono y mono time that lasted longer than a trip to the grocery store. It turned out to be great for all of us.

Doula Training was one of the most life altering experiences I have been through. I know that is a pretty big statement to make. However, I believe that as my life continues to unfold from this point that I will be able to look back on this one weekend with these amazing women and recognise it as the spark that set me on my path. The weekend seminar was hosted/taught/lead by Felica and Nicki, best friends and two of the most peaceful and profound women I have ever met. It is no surprise to me that their reputation is San Francisco provides them with FAR more potential clients than they can take on. The generosity and beauty of their souls created this amazing place in which my fellow doulas-to-be could learn, let go, and love.

Sounds a little hokie to you? Sorry, I guess you would just have to have been there. The women I met at the doula training are as valuable to me as the skill set and knowledge that I gained on the art of supporting a woman through her labor. I learned something from each and every one of the lovely and strong women that attended this seminar. I walked away from it knowing not only all of their names, but their stories, and secrets too. It was awesome and inspiring. Even if I am never to be a doula (which isn't the case!) I take away from the weekend the experience of sharing a passion with a group and how that passion can give you an instant camaraderie and bond that allows you to open up completely with one another.

It was great for Smoochy and I too. Night after night I came home to him lit up from my experiences and it rubbed off on him. We had some of the best conversations we have had in a long time, and as a result I feel reconnected and revitalized in our already steady and loving relationship. But more that that he really had some great bonding time with Normy. Smoochy has always been a very hands on and involved father. I have never had to ask for him to pay more attention to his son. However, there is nothing quite like the 24/7 care for a child all. by. yourself. It wasn't easy for him at first because Normy wasn't used to a bottle and not only did he refuse it initially but once he got going on it the bottle often made him puke. A LOT. That made it very challenging for Smooch. However, by Sunday the boys had hit there stride and that night I came home to not only a happy and full baby but a clean house!

Now I am in Florida and Smoochy is on a plane to Germany. (As you all know!) As I mentioned in my last post this is a whirlwind trip for both of us. Neither of us had much of a chance to process it, much less pack! Doula training was over at 8:00 pm Sunday night and Monday morning at 9:00 am Normy and I were in the air on our way to Naples. If it wasn't for Smoochy I would never have gotten packed. Well, Normy has JUST woken up from his nap and we've got things to do, so I am going to leave you with a couple of the cutest shots so far from our Florida vacation!

I'm Guest Posting Because I Can

Well honey, the plane hasn't crashed... yet. Currently I'm somewhere over Europe (If I'd paid any attention during Geography or World History or even German class I could venture a guess based on speed and other uber geek stuff but since I didn't, whatever) at 35,000 ft, going some insane speed, in the world's largest class of Airplane (I think it's called an Airbus). And who'd ah thunk it, they put the internet in this darn thing, tarnation! And it's free. You have to pay to make a phone call but you can get on the internet for free and do so much more. That's logic for ya. Leave it to the Germans to use some common sense, well kind of. They have the internet but no Jack Daniels (or any bourbon for that matter), or maybe I didn't pour on enough of the ol' Smoochy schmooze. I bet they have some Jack in business class. BASTARDS! To use the bathroom you have the choice of going downstairs or staying upstairs. FYI I guess.
Well I don't really have much to say. My seat sucks (up against a bulkhead, doesn't recline as far as the other shitty economy seats), I can't sleep on airplanes, I miss my wife bad, I miss my son worse and I'm sober. However, we're over half-way there and hey, I'm going to Germany for 2 weeks on the Companies' dime. WAIT! Maybe they have some decent Gin. A Gin and Tonic sounds about right.

Well, we still haven't crashed… yet.

I love you Smoochy, be sure and kiss that fat son of mine for me.

UPDATE: No Sapphire, no Tanqueray, only Gordon's dry. Yuck! I'm sure it'll get the job done. Still in the air.

UPDATE #2: Samsonite? Man I was way off. Passed Iceland, now over the Norwegian Sea. Gordon's sucks! Still flying, still sober.

Home is Where the Normy Is

Moments ago my son was sleeping in the very crib I slept in as a baby. He just awoke from what was far too short a nap and he's now sitting on my lap as I type this. Life has been a blur the last few days. My weekend of doula training in San Francisco was a life changing experience that I could devote a book to. For now I am just popping in to let everyone know we are alive and well. We found out last Wednesday that Smoochy was going to Germany for two weeks on business. Because I couldn't go with him my parents flew me home to be with them. They wanted them some Normy time! Look at his face, can you blame them? I am so grateful to be home with them I can hardly describe it. As you can see, I have TONS to blog about, but for now I just need to kinda' settle and take in Florida. With the exception of already missing my hubby, life is incredible right now. Perhaps I'll come back tonight after Normy's in bed and tell you all about it. Sometimes life moves too fast to write about it. In this moment it is all I can do to just live it.

I Want a Doula Barbie!

Well folks, doula training starts this evening and I don’t think I’ve been this excited since Christmas of 1985. I was six years, old which means I was finally old enough according to my mother’s rules to have a Barbie doll. My mother was meticulous about keeping us kids “even” when it came to Christmas gifts, so this presented a real problem for her. She couldn’t give both Katie and I Barbie dolls because Kate was only four…and Mom was very adamant that we not receive a much coveted Barbie until reaching the magic and mature age of six. (Incidentally, that was also the age at which we were allowed to pierce our ears.) And yet the Christmas presents had to be EVEN! What would she get Katie? And how would I play alone with my one Barbie? Her solution; Kate got Barbie’s little sister…Skipper.

Kate & I Last Year

Thus began my long career as the Barbie Tyrant. I was a completely dominant Barbie Overlord for at least two years, if not always. Kate was firmly entrenched in her roll of “little sister” even after Kate turned six and got Barbies of her own. My mom would tell you we played great together, and really we did. But very little went on in the Barbie mansion that I did not sanction. Everything that happened in Barbie world had to be properly planned out.

We (read “I”) came up with various “scenes” that would be played out with our Barbies. Often once we could, we would write these scenes down in the order to be executed. Then we would dress the dolls and set the stage. Once everything was in order we would announce “Play!” and the action would begin. If Mom called us for lunch or we were otherwise interrupted we would shout “Pause!” like on a tape recorder to hold the scene. If we didn’t like the way things went or came up with something else we would use “rewind” or “fast forward” to get the Barbies doing what we wanted. We played like this for YEARS.

I can’t wait to play Barbies with my kids. I know it will be hard for me not to become the Barbie Tyrant again; but I will do my best to fill the role that my own mother did when Kate and I (and sometimes Zach with his Pilot Ken or Ernie doll) played Barbies. Mom was the mistress of braiding Barbie’s hair and helping them into their all too often far too tight clothes. Mom had the BEST system for getting those tube dresses on. She would wrap Barbie in wax paper and then pull the dress over it and finally peal the wax paper out. I can remember her doing it over and over with this one particular shiny silver tube dress that had a maroon skirt you could put over it to send Barbie to the ball.


Anyway, I wonder if they make a doula Barbie? What about midwife Barbie? Probably not, huh? You know they make Doctor Barbie and Ken. But the two of them are ALWAYS pediatric doctors. I mean what other kind of Doctor would a nice little girl want her Barbie to be? Duh! Oh well, at least Barbie wants to be SOMETHING. The only thing the Btatz dolls seem to aspire to is being a slut. My question is, when you played with Barbies did you have the make-out? What about sex? I think our Barbies even got freaky once or twice once we got a little older? Did yours?

Honing His Skills

Social

Tactile

Physical

Your Daily Dose of Norm

For the love of God, Mother!
Will you QUIT TAKING PICTURES OF ME!?!

Doula School

Well here I go. I am actually charging after a goal for the first time in my life and it feels incredible. I had been researching doula training seminars in the area when I received a recommendation from Kellie to check out THIS class offered in San Francisco. The program looks awesome and as it turns out this is the only class offered until January, so with Smoochy’s blessing and support I am going for it. My freezer is packed with freshly pumped milk and I am knee deep in prerequisite reading. I’ve just started Penny Simkin’s The Birth Partner, and I have a ways to go yet, so if you don’t see me out in the blogsphere much this week you know what I’m up too. I’ll keep updating with pictures of Normy, I know a lot of you (Grandmas and Grandpas) out there come for your baby fix!

Sunday at the Smoochy's

It's been a delightful Sunday here at the Smoochy home; all though Normy may not look to happy in this particular photo. The day started early (the little bugger woke up at 5:30!!!) and chilly. Autumn is here in North California and we are enjoying some prime sweater weather. At night we keep Normy swaddled and then layered in blankets to help keep him warm, but inevitably he wiggles free of the swaddle and gets his hands above his blanket, so every morning his little fingers are like popsicles. We're going to have to start putting socks on his hands at night! I don't know why, but the pictures of him screaming always make me chuckle. He's just so cute pissed off. This particular cranky moment was the result of not being able to remain sitting. SO we decided t give the Bumbo a try.

Have you guys heard of these? Here are our results:



As you can see, he's only slightly less pissed off than before. The Bumbo Seat wasn't exactly for Normy. He spent the whole time he was in it arching his back trying to escape. However, the seat was so tight around his big fat thighs that he was firmly stuck. In fact, if Smoochy or I tried to lift him out of the seat it would remain stuck to him and Normy would have to be pealed out of it. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't like it because it was cutting off circulation to his legs! Here's a close up on the tightness factor:



We really did have such high hopes for this amazing seat. The manufacturers need to make an XL size for chunky babies. I read reviews that other plump babies have had the same issues. It is just such a cool idea. I have heard wonderful things about it from other moms. And man, we really gave it a try. We took it out to our favorite Mexican joint tonight, hoping we'd both be able to enjoy a meal using TWO hands, but alas. For Normy it is the Bumbo Seat of Sorrow. Whatever, that's $40 I can reclaim from the salary gobbling black hole that is Target.

This is Smoochy's idea of putting the seat to use. Normy looks calm enough here. But don't let that fool you. This picture was taken a whole five minutes before the Bumbo and Bambie were no longer fun. Also notice what Smoochy has done to my laptop. The Apple sticker on my HP is a little geek humor for you.

Normy Here...

Mom wants to jazz up the old blog. So, she's decided to play with the new blogger beta design features before jumping ship. Things could get kinda crazy around here. Please excuse the mess!

Normy: The Other White Meat*

*No babies were harmed in the making of this blog.
The producers of this blog do not condone cannibalism.
The actual consumption of babies could lead to incarceration or the death penalty.

Forget it.

Never mind the post I published just before this one...
I'm pretty sure it was all operator error.

This Better Work

Why is this typing with an underline? I CAN'T get rid of it. Blogger Beta has been driving me up a wall. This is the first picture I have been able to post in two days. I'm glad they have been working on the "blog this" button in Picasa but now I can't upload pictures directly to blogger. Is anyone else fighting with this stuff? Any suggestions on the crazy underline? Anyone else thinking of moving to Typepad?


Okay, I figured out the underline. Edit HTML, DUH! But why did it do it in the first place?

I'm going to check out Typepad and maybe Wordpress...

Happy Birthday, Zach!!!

One of the perils of being a stay at home mom is that occasionally the days blend peacefully into one another and it is easy it loose track of the date. Here I thought today was the 8th… and in fact I am lagging a day.

October 8th is a very special day. It is the day my little brother slipped quickly into the world. His is actually the first birth I ever witnessed, though no one else who was present was aware that I was watching.

I’ve written before about the small farming village my family hails from. When I was four years old we lived in a little brick house with a green roof in the one stop light town of Ripley, NY. True, my family was getting ready to relocate to Naples, FL. We had already lived in Naples for six months (or so) in a rented condo. However, my mother was pregnant and nothing could dissuade her from giving birth to her last child in our ancestral home town. So we went back to Ripley long enough to see out her pregnancy and sell the house.

I remember my mom’s pregnancy with Zachary. I remember how enormous her belly got and I remember lovingly stroking her tummy while sitting on our green couch and wondering how on earth a baby could actually be in there. I remember her in her dark blue silk night gown with white lace trim as she poured our cereal and tried to force feed me a small glass of OJ that had the pulp lovingly skimmed out.

So, back to the birth. Ripley is approximately in the middle of nowhere. Ok, actually it is about 45 minutes from Erie, PA which is where the closest hospital is. The way my mom tells the story, she had realized she was in labor for a an hour or so and had decided to let my dad sleep as it was in the middle of the night and she thought there was plenty of time yet before it was time to go. She was wrong. All of a sudden her water broke and she could tell the baby was COMING!!!

There bedroom was just down the hall from my sister’s and I and I heard a whole lot of commotion. I remember jumping down from my bed and tiptoeing to the door of their bedroom and peering in just in time to see my little brother’s birth. I have a very vivid memory of this. But, It must be mentioned that neither of my parents remember me there (they were pretty busy though) and I was four with a VERY hyper imagination.

I also have a very vivid memory of my father running past me down the hall to call Grandma? The Hospital? I’m not sure who. But before I knew it both the ambulance and my Grandmother were there. Grandma lived just across the street, so I’m sure she beat the paramedics. I can still see my mom being taken out of our house on a stretcher with the little baby on her chest under a blanket. I was crying, and I didn’t know why they were taking my mommy. I’m sure Grandma had one heck of a time getting me back to sleep. I can remember the way she tucked me back in and stroked my back, telling me that everything was okay and that mom and dad were only going to be gone a few days, and that tomorrow I would go see them and my new baby brother in the hospital.

I really think that Zach was born on a Friday night. Because I remember the next morning when my dad came to pick Kate and I up to take us to the hospital to meet our baby brother that I was kind of bummed that I was going to have to miss the Smurfs on Saturday morning cartoons. If I’m wrong, Mom you’ll have to tell me. Zach was pretty cool, I guess. I really can’t remember much about the hospital except how happy my dad was to finally have a boy. He kept joking about having a Big Zach Attack. (You know, like Big Mac, get it? ;-) )

Zach really did turn out to be a pretty great little brother. The three of us always played together. I am two years older than my sister who is two years older than Zach, so for the most part while we were all little, we had a blast together. Mom has a great picture of the three of us. Kate and I are dressed up like nurses (complete with construction paper nurses hats that mom made for us) listening to baby Zach’s heart.

Of course here we are. Zach is now 23 and I haven’t even called to wish him a happy birthday yet. I am horrible. So, this is officially my ODE TO ZACH: The Coolest Little Brother EVER. I may have complained at the time when mom made Kate and I let him play Barbies with us, but now it’s cool that I can put that on the internet! He may have had a Ken doll, but it was totally a PILOT Ken!

I LOVE YOU, ZACHARY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Normy’s Front to Back on Track

I posted several weeks ago that Norm was rolling over front to back. And he was…I swear. For about a week, whenever I laid him down on his tummy it would only take moments before FLIP he had rolled over. It happened over and over several times a day. I have it on film!!! And then suddenly it stopped. If I placed him on his tummy he would scream in frustration, but wouldn’t roll himself over.

Until yesterday. Finally it seems my wonder-baby is back on track. He has only flipped twice since then, so this may be premature. But I think he is remembering the lost art of the one way baby roll. He’s also been making attempts to roll from back to tummy as well. However, he’s had little success. But it is cute to watch him try.

He is growing, that’s a fact. To accommodate his massive size we have transitioned him out of the sink and into the tub at bath time. It’s going okay, but I’m not sure he knows what to make of all that open space; he doesn’t seem to enjoy it as much now. To help ease him into it, we have been taking turns bathing with him, which has resulted in some adorable pictures that unfortunately you won’t find on this site. ;-)



We have also officially kicked him out of our bed and into his own full sized crib. It’s going great for all of us. I know I told you all back in July that we had moved him into his own cradle; which was true. But what I failed to mention was that only lasted three days. Not because he didn’t take to it, because Normy didn’t mind at all. It was Daddy and I who missed our little baby in bed. I truly believe co-sleeping has some great benefits for the whole family. I never worried about SIDs with him sleeping right beside me; and OH the snuggling was divine.



However, at about the three month mark, I wasn’t as paranoid about SID’s any longer. Instead of sleeping on my side right up around Normy, I had moved over and was much less aware of him in bed. Plus, he is enormous, and started taking up way too much room!!! When we were in Kansas last, Grandpa and Grandma W. had a crib set up for Normy to use, and he LOVED it. Some times we would put him in it wide awake just so he could gaze intently at the mobile. That sealed the deal. We were all ready for our own sleeping spaces.



When we returned to California we didn’t rush out and by a crib immediately. That would go against every fiber in Smoochy’s being. Ever purchase must be thoroughly researched complete with a spread sheet and pie chart drafted to illustrate the product comparisons. I am so not kidding. So for about two weeks Normy slept in the Pack n’ Play.

However, last weekend we took the plunge, and Normy has his very own, hardwood, single drop sided crib complete with two mattress height adjustments. I LOVE it. And Norm had done fairly well sleeping in it. He goes down as easily as ever, but I am finding he wakes up in the middle of the night more often and cries like he is scared. This is interesting because that never happened in the Pack n’ Play. I’m sure all will be right as rain in another week or so.



Speaking of rain, it is raining right now in the East Bay area! It is so exciting; fall is really here for us. I’ve been wearing socks and long sleeves all week, and we’ve been closing our windows and turning off the fans at night. The climate here is so weird for a Floridian. It rained damn near EVERY day in March and April and then it just stopped, and I don’t think it has rained once since; until last night that is. I wonder how long it will take for all the hills to turn from their current golden color back to the vivid green they were in March.

Thank you all so much for your encouragement at my decision to become a doula. It really made me feel great that you all were so supportive! Things are going very well in that department. I received my certification packet in the mail from DONA this week and I have been doing some required reading. I am searching for a childbirth education class to attend as an observer and I’m looking into a weekend training seminar with DONA. I am so lucky to be so close to San Francisco, because it will be easy to find all the classes I need. Again, that you so much for all your lovely comments, I am so excited about all this!!!

I've Committed to Becoming a Doula.

I’ve been in the dumps lately. And I’ve been taking it out on my poor husband. The truth is I have NOTHING to be unhappy about. I live the perfect suburban American dream. Smoochy and I are fortunate enough to be financially secure; and so without scrimping I am able to stay home and raise my baby. I want for nothing. My husband is loving, empathetic, emotionally available, and a wonderful father.

And oh and my sweet sweet baby! He lights up my life. My child is healthy, adorable, and sleeps though the night. What more could a mom ask for? I love my days and nights with him. Now that we are past the three month mark and have figured out his bovine protein sensitivity Normy is an EASY baby. He needs a lot of attention and entertainment, but he smiles easy and loves to snuggle.

So why on earth have I been such a beyotch lately? I’ve been cranky, despondent, bored, and generally disagreeable. My poor husband was away on business last week and I know that despite the fact that Virginia generally sucks, he was happy to get a break from me.

So what’s my deal? What else could I need to feel content? Passion outside the home.

No. Not some sordid affair with some young strapping stud. Smoochy does not leave me wanting in that arena.

What I am talking about is a goal. Purpose. Something to strive for. I want to become a self-actualized contributing member of society in a capacity that is separate from my home life without sacrificing time away from my son. You know, have my cake and eat it too. If Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs holds true (remember that guy from Psyc-101?), my need for love and belonging has been fulfilled and I am ready to start tackling my self esteem needs.



I feel like I have spent my life searching for a passion. When I was in high school I was into writing poetry, music, and theater. However, none of that stuck. In college I studied political science and history, both of which I found fascinating. I excelled in the collegiate environment, and thought I could make a career out of higher education. But, after my first year of graduate school and a TA position I realized my heart wasn’t in it. It’s not that I didn’t do well in school. I never made lower than an A-. However, I realized I was just staying in school because I did not know what else to do, not because of a genuine calling.

And now that I am a mother, I have found a passion for something. Raising my children has become my number one priority. As long as my babies need my best efforts, there is nothing I will put in front of that. My hubby and I are fortunate enough to have the means for me to be a stay-at-home mom, and there is no other job I would rather be doing full-time. The thought of someone else raising my babies makes me cringe.

However, the truth is my baby and future babies will not always demand as much care as now. The day will come that my children will be quite self-sufficient. And my position as a SAHM will become obsolete. When that day comes I want to be ready to find fulfillment and joy in work outside the home. My mother is the perfect example of how a woman can successfully transition from dedicating her energy to raising babies to shifting that energy into a career. When my youngest brother started preschool she found a part time job doing what she loved most in the world: teaching children. She has nurtured that career since then, and today now that we have all flown the coop, she receives infinite joy from her dedication to teaching kindergarten.

Over the last year I have finally found something that means as much to me as teaching means to my mother. And that is natural childbirth. It should come as no surprise that this conviction of mine holds the answer to my quest for a calling. Of course while I was pregnant it made sense that I should be obsessed with researching labor and delivery, but now that my baby has been born I find myself just as fascinated and captivated by the subject. I could, and have regularly spent all day reading about childbirth and birth stories.

So, I have started setting some goals for myself, and it feels great. The first is to have completed training to be a doula and a childbirth educator with in a year. I am so excited I can hardly stand it. I have a tremendous sense of elation and well being from simply placing myself on the path. As a doula and a childbirth educator I will be able to be involved with helping women understand their options, I will be able to offer support for natural childbirth, and still be able to put time for my family first. (Except of course for the time I am called away to births!)

Once I have the knowledge, training, and experience to be a doula I envision myself taking on no more than one client a month. (At least until all my babes are in school.) This will make it very doable to arrange childcare for prenatal visits, postpartum visits, and of course the actual births. The births will require much more creative childcare arrangements, but if restricted to a monthly occurrence I think it is something Smoochy and I can work out. In addition to (and conjunction with) work as a doula I want to teach childbirth classes. Certainly, this is feasible one or two evenings a week. It would give Smoochy some well deserved one on one time with the kid(s)!

I believe I have what it takes to be a great doula. I am compassionate and empathetic, I have a genuine passion for childbirth, and I am a good communicator (which will be vital in working with both the medical community and future clients). I have officially registered with DONA (the oldest doula accreditation organization) to begin training. This consists of attending childbirth preparation classes, DONA sponsored workshops, and actually attending births. I feel a minuscule bit ahead of the program because I have already read most of the required reading while preparing for Normy’s birth! ;-)

The decision to pursue this career is extremely important to me and I am fortunate to have Smoochy’s full support. I know that he would support me in whatever endeavor I choose. However, I also think that he sees my passion for this, and he thinks that it would be a good career fit for me. I feel truly compelled to share the gospel of informed and natural child birth with anyone interested in listening. Lord know Smoochy has heard me talk about it enough!

So, that’s it. I’m sorry it has taken me so long to write this, but I wanted it to come out just right!