The house was mostly quite at 6:15 this morning as I prepared to start the day. Normy was upstairs watching Charlie Brown on my computer (where he'd been since 4:45 this morning) and I had finished a cup of coffee on the couch while reading Facebook on my phone. I couldn't imagine how I was going to pull my mood out of the pits, and function like the grateful mama I am. I sat there thinking about my to do list; cataloging a list of physical ails... sore back, heavy tired eyes, greasy hair. I didn't want to move. It's not fair that I never get enough sleep! my brain screamed. (And yes I know, I will be adding an infant into the mix in three short months.)
I stood up and made my way into the kitchen. I measured the oatmeal, poured in the milk, turned on the stove and started to stir. As I stood there the minutes passed and my thoughts quieted. I started forgetting all my petty discomforts and I let my mind go where it wanted to go. Soon I was mentally knitting Lola's blanket, coloring at the table with the kids, and excited about a gardening class I'm signed up for at our county extension. (Yea, like there is really going to be a vegetable garden in my little woods this spring! Ha!) I found my center in a pot of oats.
How does this happen? I think it has something to do with inertia. You know: The tendency of an object to continue in motion at the same speed and in the same direction, unless acted upon by a force. Every day I find that if I can just start moving, I can stay moving. The other day after lunch all I wanted was a nap. My eyes hurt, my tummy was full, and the house was quiet. I told myself: Just clean up the kitchen and you can rest after that. I started with the dishes, the sweeping, the dinner prep, when I noticed dried juice under the table. When I bent down to wipe it with a wet rag I noticed how dirty the table legs and chairs were. Somewhere in that moment I had a burst of energy that carried me through the rest of the day. I wiped-down my dinning room furniture and when on to have a very productive afternoon. No nap needed. I felt good at the end of the day, like I'd really accomplished something.
But, despite that feeling of accomplishment I still feel like I need something else in my cup. It is important to me that my house is clean and ordered. I think it is vital to our happiness to create an environment where my kids are happy and our family-life can unfold free of clutter. I want to set an example for my kids so that they can see that work is not something to be loathed and avoided, but something fulfilling and worthwhile. So, for all those reasons I try to run a tight ship. But, a clean house, folded laundry, and healthy meals are just the oats and milk in the pot. They are the basis of my work and the sustenance of our days... but where is the flavor? Today I mixed nutmeg, vanilla, dried cranberries, pecans and a little sugar into our oatmeal. Where is the sugar in our days?
Somedays, I get that mixed in too. But not often enough. So today I think we're going to go off path a little. I'm not sure how. But, I have had a productive week and I feel like Georgia and I may be due for some adventure while Normy is at preschool. Maybe all we'll do is get my Nebraska license finally so that I can get a library card... or maybe we'll do go someplace we've never been before. But, I think I need to make it a priority to put the cherry on top a little more regularly.
I think we've all been feeling like that as a family lately. My husband is very productive and driven on most weekends. He likes his weekends to be as busy as his weeks. When he is home he works on projects to improve our home, he works on our finances, he cleans the garage and organizes the basement. The highlight of our weekend is often a trip to Sam's for produce, dairy, and meat. When we walk through the door the kids get all excited and shout "Pizza!" which is the inevitable finale to our shopping trip. Well, since we are getting serious about eating conscientiously that is just about over. Soon our trips to Sam's will be replaced with work days at our newly joined CSA; trips to a local dairy, and Saturdays at the farmers market. Come on growing season!
Daddy and Normy do the taxes: an annual ritual.
But, we also want to start getting out more as a family in other ways. There is a lot of exploring to do out here in Nebraska. The trick will be for Smoochy and I to find a compromise between our inherent natures. I prefer outings to take place spontaneously and organically. Like: Hey I just heard on the radio that such-and-such is happening right now! Let's go! And for my husband the thought of that type of unscheduled fun blows his mind. He'd much prefer I come to him on Wednesday with a carefully crafted itinerary for the weekend with planned events listed in chronological order including detailed notes on logistics, cost analysis, and contingency plans. We don't get out much. ;-)
However, we both want to do better. I think we're going to be able to meet in the middle. After a string of days in the upper 30s, spring feels like it might actually be on it's way. The snow is melting and rivers of icy water have been coursing down our driveway into a cold pool right by our house. The glaciers of heaped-up snow are breaking up and every day I see a little more brown/green earth. Everyone is excited. This weekend we have a plan. We are going to the zoo. It will be Georgia's first time as someone capable of self-mobility. All of her previous trips to the zoo were spent sleeping in a wrap. It's not adventure hiking in the jungle... but it is a great start!
Our Last Zoo Adventure
We'll see where these sentiments take us. Hopefully one step closer to living life to the absolute fullest. To do lists and itineraries work for us... but we need to schedule a little off-roading in our lives.
My first garden. It won't get bigger than this! I have to move them three times a day in order for them to have enough sun.
