I've Committed to Becoming a Doula.

I’ve been in the dumps lately. And I’ve been taking it out on my poor husband. The truth is I have NOTHING to be unhappy about. I live the perfect suburban American dream. Smoochy and I are fortunate enough to be financially secure; and so without scrimping I am able to stay home and raise my baby. I want for nothing. My husband is loving, empathetic, emotionally available, and a wonderful father.

And oh and my sweet sweet baby! He lights up my life. My child is healthy, adorable, and sleeps though the night. What more could a mom ask for? I love my days and nights with him. Now that we are past the three month mark and have figured out his bovine protein sensitivity Normy is an EASY baby. He needs a lot of attention and entertainment, but he smiles easy and loves to snuggle.

So why on earth have I been such a beyotch lately? I’ve been cranky, despondent, bored, and generally disagreeable. My poor husband was away on business last week and I know that despite the fact that Virginia generally sucks, he was happy to get a break from me.

So what’s my deal? What else could I need to feel content? Passion outside the home.

No. Not some sordid affair with some young strapping stud. Smoochy does not leave me wanting in that arena.

What I am talking about is a goal. Purpose. Something to strive for. I want to become a self-actualized contributing member of society in a capacity that is separate from my home life without sacrificing time away from my son. You know, have my cake and eat it too. If Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs holds true (remember that guy from Psyc-101?), my need for love and belonging has been fulfilled and I am ready to start tackling my self esteem needs.



I feel like I have spent my life searching for a passion. When I was in high school I was into writing poetry, music, and theater. However, none of that stuck. In college I studied political science and history, both of which I found fascinating. I excelled in the collegiate environment, and thought I could make a career out of higher education. But, after my first year of graduate school and a TA position I realized my heart wasn’t in it. It’s not that I didn’t do well in school. I never made lower than an A-. However, I realized I was just staying in school because I did not know what else to do, not because of a genuine calling.

And now that I am a mother, I have found a passion for something. Raising my children has become my number one priority. As long as my babies need my best efforts, there is nothing I will put in front of that. My hubby and I are fortunate enough to have the means for me to be a stay-at-home mom, and there is no other job I would rather be doing full-time. The thought of someone else raising my babies makes me cringe.

However, the truth is my baby and future babies will not always demand as much care as now. The day will come that my children will be quite self-sufficient. And my position as a SAHM will become obsolete. When that day comes I want to be ready to find fulfillment and joy in work outside the home. My mother is the perfect example of how a woman can successfully transition from dedicating her energy to raising babies to shifting that energy into a career. When my youngest brother started preschool she found a part time job doing what she loved most in the world: teaching children. She has nurtured that career since then, and today now that we have all flown the coop, she receives infinite joy from her dedication to teaching kindergarten.

Over the last year I have finally found something that means as much to me as teaching means to my mother. And that is natural childbirth. It should come as no surprise that this conviction of mine holds the answer to my quest for a calling. Of course while I was pregnant it made sense that I should be obsessed with researching labor and delivery, but now that my baby has been born I find myself just as fascinated and captivated by the subject. I could, and have regularly spent all day reading about childbirth and birth stories.

So, I have started setting some goals for myself, and it feels great. The first is to have completed training to be a doula and a childbirth educator with in a year. I am so excited I can hardly stand it. I have a tremendous sense of elation and well being from simply placing myself on the path. As a doula and a childbirth educator I will be able to be involved with helping women understand their options, I will be able to offer support for natural childbirth, and still be able to put time for my family first. (Except of course for the time I am called away to births!)

Once I have the knowledge, training, and experience to be a doula I envision myself taking on no more than one client a month. (At least until all my babes are in school.) This will make it very doable to arrange childcare for prenatal visits, postpartum visits, and of course the actual births. The births will require much more creative childcare arrangements, but if restricted to a monthly occurrence I think it is something Smoochy and I can work out. In addition to (and conjunction with) work as a doula I want to teach childbirth classes. Certainly, this is feasible one or two evenings a week. It would give Smoochy some well deserved one on one time with the kid(s)!

I believe I have what it takes to be a great doula. I am compassionate and empathetic, I have a genuine passion for childbirth, and I am a good communicator (which will be vital in working with both the medical community and future clients). I have officially registered with DONA (the oldest doula accreditation organization) to begin training. This consists of attending childbirth preparation classes, DONA sponsored workshops, and actually attending births. I feel a minuscule bit ahead of the program because I have already read most of the required reading while preparing for Normy’s birth! ;-)

The decision to pursue this career is extremely important to me and I am fortunate to have Smoochy’s full support. I know that he would support me in whatever endeavor I choose. However, I also think that he sees my passion for this, and he thinks that it would be a good career fit for me. I feel truly compelled to share the gospel of informed and natural child birth with anyone interested in listening. Lord know Smoochy has heard me talk about it enough!

So, that’s it. I’m sorry it has taken me so long to write this, but I wanted it to come out just right!