How much do I need to survive?
Sleep?
Caffeine?
Sugar? (None. I know.)
Vegetables?
Friendship?
Intimacy?
How much do I need to thrive?
Sleep?
Creative space?
Physical space?
Quiet?
Music?
Laughter?
I tell you, when the baby is sick this whole balancing act goes out the window. I know a family who faces real and horrible health realities for two of their children, and I can't imagine how they continue to function day after day. Their life must feel like it is in free-fall. Lola has had sleepless nights since Monday due to a double ear ache and sinus infection and I feel like my threads are frayed and unraveling. I can't imagine something worse, something antibiotics and garlic oil won't cure.
My husband asked, "What happened to daily posting?" And right now all I can think is, it wen't out the window with daily showers...
I hate to come here and just whine. So I don't come at all. (Except of course now I am.) Especially when I can't justify any time in front of the computer. In the last two weeks I have only been on Facebook in order to fire off a few quick personal messages. I have no idea about the cute things your kids have been doing or what you did over the weekend. And I miss you.
I DO KNOW however, that I feel lonely for community in real-time. I wish we were closer to folks who popped over unexpected and stayed for supper just because we were all having so much fun. That happens sometimes, right? I wish we weren't so disconnected. (and anti-social)
Is it just busy schedules that stand in the way? Today I'm supposed to take Norm to pre-K, go to the grocery store, then the library (over-due books), then back to pick him up. After naps we shuttle off for a special speech therapy social group he participates in. In between is lunch and naps and chores and dinner... Multiply my schedule by your schedule, divide by sick kids and it's no wonder I only see other women in highly planned two-hour blocks here and there amidst the crazy weeks.
I hate to be a drag. So, I'm going to go read about honey bees and snuggle my sick baby who WILL NOT let me put her down. The sun will come out tomorrow. And as soon as I have two hands again I will post cute pictures of the kids. Because even if I'm grumpy, they are still awesome.
4 comments:
Oh Rebecca, I sure can relate to everything you've said! "...out the window with daily showers"! So true!
I especially can relate to wanting to have people in my life that can come over for dinner and just be with us and feel comfortable, etc. I'm not sure why this hasn't been the case. It used to be, when I was single, of course. I too wish I wasn't so disconnected and anti social - I've been told by a couple of people it's a symptom of having young children at home, but that makes me even MORE sad, rather than placated. I mean, aren't mom's with young children even MORE in need of socialization and contact? What is up with our society...not to point fingers, but it's a strange phenomenon.
I've gone on too long, but rest assured, that if we lived closer to each other, I'd like to think we would hang out at each others' houses! : -)
Ugh...I know this scenario all too well. I often feel isolated and solely dependent on Phillip and my kids to entertain me. To keep me company. I miss being social! I miss having close friends close by. Coffee dates turning into drinks turning into dinner....that would be amazing. A COMMUNITY would be unbelievable. I 100% believe we should build a commune!
If we lived closer B, we would at each others houses all the time!
Can you imagine how much easier life might be?
I have one of those sick babies who won't let me put her down too. And the lack of sleep gets old. I can't imagine what people feel like who deal with this stuff always.
I totally relate to the isolated business. With all the sickness we've had the last month, I feel like I haven't been out of the house except to the doctor. Would love to get the kids together sometime.
Honey! I've read the comments so it feels lame to even say it, as its been said already. I think you nailed it though. We all have times when we feel anti-social and completely disconnected with our friends (and everyone) for that matter. What keeps me going is thinking that it will change, that I will somehow develop those kind of relationships with friends here. For the time being, my family and memories of times like that, are what get me through each day. I miss you, xoxo. hope your kiddo gets better.
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