Slave Labor or Little Helpers

I’ve been thinking more and more how to get the kids involved with work around the house.  I don’t believe there is any such thing as a free lunch and I know people have better self-esteem when they pay their own way. Little kids especially WANT to help, and I want to capitalize on that by not only showing them that they can but it feels good when they do. I want my kids to know that work isn’t something awful to be avoided at all cost but something that is fulfilling in a way that nothing else is. As Normy and Georgia are getting older I have started glimpsing their capability and readiness to handle some real and meaningful responsibility. But, how should I ease their way into the world of work?

Part of me chafes at the idea of a chore chart (which I think is the standard at this age.) Firstly, it’s just another thing for mom to organize and keep track of (and complain about!). More than that though, I think it sends kids the wrong message. Like, if you check these boxes you’ve “done your part” and nothing further is required of you. Instead I want my kids to always be on the look out for a way they can pitch-in. I think it’s too easy for them to slip into the mindset of “I don’t HAVE to help Mom sort the laundry… That’s not my job. It says so right here on the chart.” (Of course this is the hypothesis of a woman with three children none of which is capable of wiping their own ass. So, there’s that.)

 But, I’m already starting to see Georgia take up that line of thinking. When we pick-up toys before naps I’ll say, “Normy, you put all the blocks back on the shelf and Georgia, you are in charge of cleaning up the (play) kitchen.” To which Georgia inevitably responds:

“That’s my part, then I’m DONE!”

Um… No.

I’m not into bribes and carrots when it comes to housework either. (In the grocery store it’s a WHOLE different story. Popsicles for compliance is a regular bargain.) I don’t think Normy should earn a quarter for setting the table or Georgia should get to watch a movie in exchange for putting away her freshly laundered PJs. WE as a family, have to work together to make the home run. True, the kids didn’t have a choice as to weather they were made part of the family so, if they want to join the circus or a traveling band of gypsies that can be arranged. But, if they do want to hang out here than we are in it together. We work as a group for our continued survival; the way Mother Nature intended the human race to thrive.

But like I mentioned earlier, I’m in the sweet spot of mother-dictated-chores. Now when I tell Normy he can put away the clean silverware and pass me the clean dishes from the dishwasher he sees it as a cool new test of his dexterity and matching ability. It’s not a task, but a game. A game he can do and Georgia can’t. A game he can do WITH MOM! I know it won’t always be this easy. But, my hope is that if I can let go of my neurosis about things being done efficiently and “correctly” maybe I can get out of the way and let them develop the confidence to know they CAN make their own bed, hang up their own clothes, and clear the table. 

 I’d love some feedback. How do you do “chores” in your house? (I hate that word and NEVER want to use it.) What do you wish you had done with your kids when they were small. What works?

We start 'em young around here.