This Side of Paradise

Well, we're a couple days into the new year. Frankly, I haven't noticed anything new since last year. Right now, I am simultaneously excited with my life and stuck in a rut. My biggest problem is that I am pathetic at motivating myself. Unless there is something urgent or exciting or immediate, my natural propensity is to languish in inactivity. GRRRR. That should be my New Years resolution. To wake up every day by 8am and stay busy with productive activities including, home improvements (basic maintenance and cleaning), exercise, personal education, and healthy social activities. Now, I so often fall into a spell of laziness. I haven't worked out regularly since the wedding, sleep past 9am most days, and spend TOO many of my waking hours online and reading novels.

Today I started Fitzgerald's This Side of Paradise. So far, the book, that many claim is Fitzgerald's most brilliant work, (written before Zelda and alcoholism) is fascinating in a way. Interesting, with overblown almost poetic prose, about an autobiographcally based character who is youthful, rich, egotistical, self-absorbed and soaked with ambition. OK, so the book is ALL about the coming of age of this above mentioned charachter, which is rather shallow...but the writing is so gorgeous and descriptive, it makes the whole thing come off as romantic and captivating. Besides, as uncomfortable as it is to admit, I can relate to a character that wants little more than to pursue the pleasures of life. I am becoming more tempered and practical as I enter my LATE twenties, but I still like to daydream I am living Hemingway's A Moveable Feast. I could exist for nothing but tanning and swimming in Spain or idling away in Parisian cafes drinking whiskey and soda. Who couldn't? It would be especially lovely if there were sexy and captivating poets, painters, and authors to philosophize with while I swam and drank! At least it's fun to imagine. My real life is NOTHING like that, and will get even less so when baby comes.

I do have one small claim to productivity today. I have boxed up Christmas for the year. The decorations are packed and the tree is by the curb. The house looks clean and crisp with everything back to normal. It is always such a delight to get out the Chistmas decorations at the beginning of the season. Now, almost a relief to have everything retuned to normalcy since it's all over. I wish I had done more, though. We are suppose to close on out house Friday and I forgot to order the termite inspection. I hope we can get it done in time. It would SUCK if we had to reschedule because I goofed. Well, I am off to finish tidying the house for the evening and then I'll write my to do list for tomorrow, so maybe it'll be more productive than today. sigh...