In her last comment the oh so observant SmockLandy wrote, “Oh, you gave up on cloth? I'm sorry…” OOO! That stung a little! I am sure there was no offence intended, but my guilty conscience was pricked. The following is not intended to be a defense, because there can’t really be one, BUT… The truth is I WANTED to use cloth. I wanted to do my part, to be a hip-liberal-mama. I WANTED to use cloth diapers. Other moms on the web made it look so cool, so easy. Heck there are thousands of cool diaper covers in neat-o designs to really dress up your baby’s buns and show off his originality.
I did the research and I calmly laid out my case to Smoochy. First and foremost we would be doing our part to conserve the Earth, secondly it’s nearly cheaper, and it’ll be easier to potty train the kid! You see darling Smoochy, all of these sources say that because cloth allows Baby to FEEL the wetness he will be more uncomfortable and therefore have more motivation to pee pee in the potty. Shoot, we’ll have our little darling using the toilet by six months! Like a good and knowing hubby Smoochy said, “You’ll be doing most of the diapering so do what you want. I just want you to USE what you invest in, and I won’t be shocked if you can all this silly cloth diaper business…you damn hippie.”
I have a personal philosophy of giving my loved ones the chance to revel in their well deserved “I told you soes” It just makes people feel good, and it’s something I can so easily and so often provide. Often I (and this kind of smacks of DEFENCE MECHANISM to me) am the first to point out when someone was right and I was WRONG.
Like with cloth diapers.
It all started well enough. I am fortunate to live in a metropolitan area and there is a diaper service no further away than my local yellow pages. By the way, if you live in the East Bay Area, ABC Diapers ROCKS. Seriously, they are a friendly, easy to work with, family owned and operation, with a quality product. Obviously my failure to cloth diaper doesn’t lie with them. I didn’t even have to wash the smelly poo-raggs! (If this is something your interested in; all the research I did indicates that cloth diapers from a diaper service are more eco-friendly than washing your own die-dies because the industrial cleaning process they employ actually uses less water and chemicals than what you use at home.)
So once Sonny was born (as that’s what we were calling him back then) I diapered my smooshed little cherub in cloth. However, I was the only one folding the pre-folds and trying to wrap them around my chicken-legged cutie-pie. Smoochy had not signed on to this cloth diaper thing so he was using all the disposables we had been given as gifts.
Sonny/Normy is the first baby I have ever cared for. I didn’t baby sit, my siblings were too close to my age, and I was never really into babies before my own. Smoochy on the other hand is the oldest of six brothers and sisters. He has changed some diapers. So, while I was sweating, fighting, and cursing the cloth, he was sailing through his diaper changes. I looked on with envy. I felt like the incompetent mom compared to super dad.
Then it happened. Two weeks after Sonny was born he out grew his newborn Litewrap diaper covers. Surprise surprise! By this point I had gotten pretty good at managing the pre-folds and wrap, but now I could hardly snap the things on to my growing little boy. The CRAPPY thing about diaper covers is that you can’t buy them at Baby’s R Us or Target or any other store for that matter (which I am sure is a conspiracy). For those of you who diapered in the 70s, I am not talking about the plastic pants you slide over a pinned diaper, but rather a smart new diaper cover that you merely lay the pre-folded cloth diaper into and then VELCRO around the baby. No more pins. So, I can’t use that excuse either!
Pretty much once Normy outgrew his diaper covers I was through. I had seen an easier way. I had tasted the possibilities. While no one was looking I would sneak the occasional disposable. And it was SO EASY. I couldn’t stop myself. When you’re changing 12-15 diapers a day you don’t care about anything other than cutting the crap. Git ‘er done!
The truth is I don’t have anything but my own laziness to blame for my household’s failed attempt at cloth diapering. Had I stuck to my guns we would have eventually run out of the gifted disposables and there would have been nothing in the house but cloth. Smoochy is such a good hubby that he would not have quit diapering just because he didn’t prefer the diapering medium. I can argue that Normy stays drier and therefore has less rash issues…but really the only reason we use disposables is it’s SO MUCH FREAKING EASIER! And right now when everything is ten times more difficult to accomplish because of the baby, I take simple joy in being able to breeze though a diaper change.
13 comments:
I'd like to set the record straight! I did use the cloth, but it was more like every other. I have no problems with cloth diapers or those who use them. However, I think the general arguments for cloth are retarted. Which is why I stepped aside and allowed my wife to hang herself, yet again.
I think it's a personal choice and should you choose to diaper your baby in disposables because it's easier than good for you. There's already so much to learn and get accustomed to when you have a baby that why make things more difficult for yourself? I understand the arguement for cloth...but dammit! The disposables ARE soooo much easier to use. Do your part to help the enviroment in other ways, honey. DON"T get down on yourself or feel like you failed because you switched to the "dark" side of diapering. Phoot on those that judge.
A lady at my church asked me if I'm going to use cloth...and was so shocked and confused to hear that most people don't use cloth anymore. She walked away shaking her head.
I didn't feel guilty, and neither should you. You at least gave it a try, which is more than most moms do! Besides, after all the trips to the Dr. to figure out why poor Normy has been so miserable, and talk of possibly needing surgery, acid reflux, cloth diapers should be the last thing you think about!
Not to mention...imagine the Poo Saga with cloth!
OH, Rebecca, I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I would never had meant to do that. I was being more facetious than anything. I wish you knew me better; you would have laughed at that comment and said, "OOOOH, you bet." And as much as I love clothem (mostly money for us), I would nevah, evah, nevah, make someone feel bad for NOT using cloth.
For what it's worth - when the time does come for the training of the potty usage - don't waste your money on those pull-up things. They are no different than a diaper and the child knows it. We use those for night time only, oh, and travelling when the training is not quite secure yet. Go ahead and buy those thick underpants - they absorb great. I even bought them one size bigger and cut the sides and put snaps on the leg and waist band to make taking them off with really bad accidents a little easier.
And because my 5 year old has cerebral palsy and is a left-side hemiplegic, she does not yet have the proper nervous system develpment to control her bathroom habits and she is still not able to tell us when she needs to use the bathroom. by the time she was three and it was obvious (via medical testing too) that she was going to be older before she could master this I took her out of cloth right away and she is still wearing those pullups (they are the only ones big enough). Poo and pee out of a child that age, just has to be managed with disposables!!!!
I am so sorry that what I wrote hurt.
First, I scare you then I hurt you - I think I'll shut up and go back to hiding in my corner now.
Don't go SmockLady! I knew you weren't trying to hurt my feelers. I just havre a guilty conscience when it comes to cloth! ;-)
Becca,
For what it's worth, I want you to know that with 2 of my kids I used disposable, and with one I used cloth. The only reason I did it was because it was a heck of a lot cheaper ( I washed them myself as well) and we were very poor when Charlie came into the world. I did enjoy seeing the dirty diapers come out snow white and be nice and fluffy, but it was a lot more work. As it were, none of my kids suffered or benefitted from either type of diaper!! You need to give yourself a break and not sweat the small stuff!! When Normy is 6 noone is going to say that lack of cloth diapers changed him in any way!! I applaud you for being so diligent about doing so much research on all topics relating to baby, but you really need to just go with your gut! NO TWO babies are the same, and you are the only one that knows your son the way only a mother can! Just trust that you can and will do the best job! YOu already are an awesome mom just because you love him so much!! Let him teach you and all will be fine!
Lynne
Use whatever works! I'll add to the chorus: my baby wears disposables! Yes, I have a few twinges of guilt...but certainly none at 2am. Or 3am. Or 5am.
And, speaking of, I'm glad the poo saga is resolved. :O
I'm all for letting my hippie flag fly, but girl: you better bet Henry uses disposables.
Like Jenn, my guilt doesn't come with the 10-12 diaper changes a day.
I don't blame you! I briefly considered cloth just because they're so freaking cute. But, that lasted about .2 seconds. With baby #2 I seriously cannot even imagine the hassle. (But, I'm sure people who do it get used to it...)
We're taking the boys to San Fran in the middle of September, so we'll be near you! :)
in all my time of babysitting and working in the nursery i haven't actually delt with cloth diapers, but i imagine its not fun! (but i was also changing diapers on 1-2 yr olds so i imagine its even more difficult with the little infants!) I love reading about all the funny stories!
I don't plan to use cloth either!! I have felt a tad bit guilty about it in the past ... but have totally managed to get over it! I haven't totally put it out of my mind for subsequent children - but we will see.
Yup. We considered using cloth (well, I did -- my wife left the decision up to me). I'm very keen on preserving the environment, and I did a fair bit of research before our son was born. Eventually I began to realize that what no one wanted to say about cloth is that your baby probably won't be as comfortable, and it won't be easier. I too felt guilty about clogging up the landfill, but I finally decided that I was already putting in a lot of effort to be environmentally responsible, and on this one issue I would take the easy road instead with no guilt. And I haven't looked back, not once.
Didn't you just have him, like yesterday?? He is absolutely beautiful.
My kids are 8 and 11. The guilt I experienced over decisions I made back then seems very far away now. Don't sweat it. Your baby is obivously very loved and when it comes down to it, that's what matters.
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