Maybe I Only Want Two…As many of you know, I had a wonderful, easy, glowing pregnancy. I loved every minuet of it. After I got passed the initial surge of hormones and the acne went away I looked truly radiant for the first time in my life. I never suffered morning sickness; my ankles didn’t swell into canckles; and for the most part I slept fine. But to top it off I could sit down to a HUGE plate of pasta, manage seconds, three pieces of garlic bread, and a salad and still fit comfortably in my elastic pants. It was heavenly.
Before you hate me too much, I did endure 44 hours of unmediated labor. Not to mention about ten stitches. That part pretty much sucked. But, really the pains of childbirth fade quickly from the mind, the stitches dissolve, and all you’re left with is your beautiful if somewhat smooshy newborn babe. And after 44 hours of being crushed through my birth canal and then repeatedly slammed against my only partially dilated cervix, my baby was particularly smooshy.
The day after Normy was born I held my little miracle and thought to myself, “I want to do this again! I want like seven kids!" At that point Normy was sleeping about 20 hours a day and it was easy to imagine a houseful of perfectly behaved precious children. I envisioned joyful Christmases with a mantel loaded with stockings and walls of our home decorated with countless pictures of my smiling cherubs. They’d line up youngest to oldest dressed in matching outfits and sing a cute little song at bed time, like they do in The Sound of Music.
However, the reality of life with Normy has made me reevaluate my take on large families. Now I’m thinking more like two kids. Don’t get me wrong. I am enjoying motherhood, I like caring for my son. But, WOW, it is hard work. And as a logical woman, I can only assume that the workload is compounded with the addition of subsequent children. Perhaps even exponentially.
Here is my biggest issue right now: amusing my 2 month old. I am simply daunted. I can handle soothing the fussiness, I can handle the extra laundry, and the lack of ME time. But how do I entertain this little being day in and day out every day? We read books; we take walks; I sing to him; I dance around the living room with him; I put him on his play mat; I put him in his swig; we dance around the living room some more; I start pulling my hair out, he always laughs at that. My kid CONSTANTLY needs stimulus, or he starts crying. If he’s laying on the play gym and the mechanical bird stops moving for too long he’ll start fussing.
I Don't want this post to come across as whiney, because most days I have FUN with Normy. But, today I was at a loss. We had gone through the above mentioned list of baby amusements twice, and he just wasn’t doing repeats. He did not want to read the Ten Little Ladybugs again, he was SICK of the play mat, sick of dancing (and my legs were getting tired), and sick of countless repetitions of his favorite song (horsey, horsey on my way, we’ve been together for a many a day…) I was sick of it all too. Finally I did the one thing I swore I would not do.
I put Bambi in the DVD player and plopped him in front of it in his swing.
Antique Mommy wrote a hilarious post about this very issue not to long ago, and I couldn’t help but think about it while I enjoyed my forty five minutes of respite as my kid morphed into a TV zombie. Antique Mommy wrote, "With my child tucked safely inside my womb, I was still free to waddle up to my soapbox and spout off all the idealistic things I would never do that those other horrible, less diligent parents allow their children to do."
Now, I have never looked down on any mom for using the occasional Disney movie or Baby Einstein video to occasionally entertain their kid. I figured it was a fairly harmless way for a mom to get a well deserved break.
I just was NOT going to do it.
I wasn’t going to need the break. I was going to constantly stimulate my child via games and other interaction that exercised him physically and mentally.
Forget that. I was ALMOST to the point where I would have put a nip of whiskey in his bottle if I could have gotten out of just one hour of “what does Normy want to do now?” Of course I don’t give him bottles, so to get whiskey in his milk I’d have to do the shot myself. Tempting…
Suggestions? Anyone? How do you entertain a baby? All. Day. Long. Hour after hour? Any toy or game ideas for little babies? He's not in to peek-a-boo yet, I tried. However, I guess that is a good reason to have at least a second child; then they can entertain each other.
"Mom, Can we watch The Little Mermaid, Tomorrow? Ariel's a babe!"
11 comments:
I love this post, I've been nodding my head the whole way through, hehe.
In those hazy first days after the birth I alternated between "oh yeah, bring it on, I can do this lots of times" and "oh god no, never again". I always imagined 3-4 kids. In some ways now with 2 I think perhaps this is enough, but the thought of this being my LAST baby, nearly breaks my heart. I reckon, just take them one baby at a time and see how you go.
It's so different with 2 than with 1!
I too have a baby who loves to be entertained, although she's also pretty good at being by herself. Some days though she just wants attention constantly - to talk and goo and smile at me which I just can't always give her, but I find putting her in the front pack (baby bjorn kind of thing) but facing outwards works really well. With my first baby she was happy with her front to my front, and she'd just nap away, but Natalia loves to be facing out and looking at the world. It keeps her happy for ages, even though it's physically draining for me. Makes it much harder to get all the jobs done, but in other ways easier because she loves to watch!
Normy's nearly to the age now where they get really good at entertaining themselves for longer periods of time - and boy is that heaven for a busy mum!
Oh by the way, I swore I would never do the tv/dvd thing too, and we now do it daily. I cringe and berate myself, and then enjoy the relative peace anyway. The baby einsteins are pretty good actually!
I hate it when you write a comment and then lose it cause the system doesn't recognize you.
I think I had written that I was doing morning chores this morning thinking about your post and I came up with some really profound stuff and now I am going to write it to you and it will not sound as profound as it did in my head but hear it goes anyway.
You need to remember that Lil J has been with you for all of his life and his little brain is like a lump of clay. If you let is sit there it will just stay a lump of putty that isn't worth much. But if you poke it and prod it and rub it and shape it just right, you can sculpt it into anything that you want. That manipulation is called teaching-conditioning. Your momma is a master at it and that is why she is such a good teacher-parent.
It sounds like you are doing all the right things and you are just realizing how tough it is to do. But remeber, his little brain has the attention span of a gnat so you got to have a really big bag of tricks. But as he catches on and figuires out that he can entertain himself, it will get easier. Also remeber that he has always been reliant on you for everything and sill continue to be that way unless you stretch the envelope. (You were exceptionally good at that as a child) The more you demand of him the more he will take on. It is part of learning. Just remeber the amount of time you spent on the "sit and spin" and aim for that.
Keep up the good work, I am proud of you.
Grandpa
Hi Rebecca,
I found your blog after talking to you at the Fun Moms in Motion walk on Wednesday. (We talked about a non-dairy diet, hope you remember me :-)).
I wanted to let you know about the Baby'N'Me group that meets Tuesdays and Wednesdays from 12:30-2:30pm at Suite 2C of the building at 2299 Mowry Ave. It's free and open to anyone. I talked about it on the walk and then didn't get a chance to give you the info after the "blow out" you had -- hope the clean-up went well :-)
Also, I TOTALLY relate to this post. Mason almost 3 months and I do all the same stuff you do, and it isn't enough to keep him occupied. Most days he cries unless you carry him around, and my arms feel like they want to fall off. I have resisted the TV so far, so I know that won't last much longer. Guess I better get some kiddie DVDs, or he's going to be watching my Kill Bill DVD with me (just kidding).
Shirley
Hey, girl, you hit the nail on the head when you said that "is a good reason to have at least a second child; then they can entertain each other." OK, so not the only reason, but you are right. They do entertain each other. Sometimes I have to shoo all the others away just so I can have MY time with my little ones. OH and lest you think I'm crazy for that how about lettin gall five of them have a friend over - at the same time! I love it, because then, they leave me alone. LOL. I don't have to do all the entertaining or splittin gup of arguements - they have their buddy for a few hours and I get stuff done. I remember those days of just one and then the 2nd and how much 1 'played' with 2. Then 3 came along and I can was her playmate for a while, then 4 and after that they all just play together.
Heya! You are spot on my friend. At that age, it's tough because they need the constant attention. The older they get, the better they are at entertaining themselves. I used to put Mags in her carrier and set her on the counter if I was cooking dinner, or put her on the table as I was folding laundry. When she was around six months and could sit up, I would put her on the blanket with some toys. As I moved through the house, I could just drag her, the blanket and toys with me.
I used to want at least 3 kids, but sometimes I wanted four. When we had two, it just felt right. And besides, it's perfect for going to amusement parks because no one is left out (even number) :)
It is easier with two because they do start to entertain each other, and let me tell you, that is such a nice feeling.
As the commetor stated just above, I love it when their friends come over because they entertain themselves and you can get so much done.
I hate to break it to you but you've pretty much covered all of your entertainment bases with a kiddo this age. Plus, at this age, TV is teahing him something. He can follow the colors with his eyes. He learns how to see 2 and 3 dimensions.. it isn't all bad.
I found having 2 under 2 to be more then twice as hard. I'm hopeful that as he ages and is able to interact with his older sister things will get easier.
I had to come back and comment on the very first picture in this post. When I was pregnant with our first, I was propped on the couch reading a book and our cat, then still very much a kitten, was napping on my lovely round belly (much as your dog is there) but instead right on top of my belly. My baby just happened to give a huge kick right at that spot and my cat leaped at least 24 inches into the air and came down on the floor next to me looking very much like a bottle brush and hissing rather loudly at me as if I had done some terrible thing to him. He slowly crept back towards the couch, hopped on the arm rest, then onto the back of the couch, he leaned over and started slapping his clawless paw at that particular spot on my belly like he was going to let my belly know who was boss. I couldn't stop laughing and the baby kept kicking as I laughed. I so wish we had a video camera (I still do wish actually). It's funny how animals think we grow our bellies for their napping enjoyment.
I can so relate. I find when they are at this age, they need constant attention to be entertained. It is true though, when you have more children they entertain each other. I have 4 children and the 10 yr old helps play with my 5 month old. I keep telling her, I dont know how I'll do it next week when she's back in school.
hahaha! I did and said the SAME thing!
Light at the end of the tunnel though: dad's gf is a psychometrist- studies children for a living. She told me it's MORE than okay, as they're fascinated at this point only by the changing colours and shapes on the tv, NOT by the drama on Dr. Phil :) Don't feel bad! It's better to do that for an hour than to let him sit looking at a wall...
You crack me UP.
I didn't try to entertain mine. I wore them or pushed them in the stroller when they were too big (or the elder manboy was in casts and too heavy to wear/carry.) I took them on my stuff... :)
Hh
My stuff: library, hiking, cross-country skiing, shopping, etc.
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