My First Births as a Doula...Part I

I have been on a break from birth. Since Smoochy and I left California I haven’t visited any blogs or Internet sites that deal with birth; I haven’t read and books on birth; I haven’t thought about my career as a doula; I have been on vacation.

Normy's been on vacation too... a vacation from clothes.

When we decided that Smoochy would resign form his job and that we would pull up stakes and head east I knew moving wouldn’t me my only challenge. You see, my very first doula client ever was due to deliver two weeks before our scheduled move date. I knew this was cutting it close, I knew that this would make things more stressful for me both in terms of “being there” for my client and in terms of preparing for the move…but there wasn’t any other way to do it realistically…and I was up for it.

But, MAN was it tough.

The biggest stress came when my darling husband had to leave town for FOUR days of interviews in the week of my clients’ due dates.

You see, in the midst of it all I had taken on a second client. I had been put in touch with her by my doula trainer. Through a series of tragic circumstances outside of her control the woman had not had time to prepare for her pregnancy, and worse, she would be unsupported for her labor and delivery. I started meeting with her two weeks before her due date despite the added pressure it put on my family because the client badly needed the support and because I badly wanted the experience!

Yet, those four days that Smoochy was gone I had two women past their due dates which made me a little crazy. If it hadn’t been for my amazing friends I would not have been able to honor my commitment to these women if their labors began.

It was bad enough that Smoochy was out of town; we were two weeks from moving; and I had two clients busting at the seams…but to make it all worse: Normy caught a cold. At this point I nearly lost it. Originally I had planned to drop him off with my dear friend Stela if one of my clients went into labor. However, once Normy got sick how could I do so in good conscious? Stela has a baby of her own! Not only would it be crummy of her to have to take care of my sick baby for God knows how long, but what if L. got sick too?! This is where I learned the first lesson these births had to teach me. A doula should ALAWYS and I mean A L WA Y S work with a back-up!

Somehow, miraculously, as if by providence…it all worked out. Not without a couple of close calls though! The first came only hours after Smoochy had boarded a plane for Atlanta! It was about 5 o’ clock in the evening when my phone rang and I talked to the shaky and excited husband of my original client. (Her internet name will be Kay…but this is fictitious) Kay’s water had broke (they thought) and though contractions had not started in earnest their doctor wanted them to check in to triage as her labor with her first child was quite fast.

I was excited after that call as if I was a first time dad. I rushed around getting the my gear together for the trip to the hospital like I was going to have MY first child. I don’t know how I managed to take a shower, load my birth bag and ball, grab Normy’s over night bag, and make it in to the car with him in tow in less than fifteen minutes. But I did. I was on fire! Thankfully his sniffles had lessened and Stela had insisted that she’d look after him no matter what. She’s so cool. She said to me, “Becca, you have to go to this birth. It’s your job!” I could not ask for a better friend.

Once Normy and I got to Stela’s we had time to settle in and catch our breaths. My client and her husband wanted to get through triage and settle into labor and their labor suite a little before I joined them. I expected to get the call to join them in an hour or two. So, I figured I’d get Norm settled into Stela’s and then slip out. I fed him, bathed him and got him into bed…before getting the call that there was some question as to whether my client’s water had indeed broken and that the couple was heading home to wait until labor picked up some. We all expected that to happen sometime that night so I decided to sleep on Stela’s couch rather than to bring Normy home only to have to return in the middle of the night. I slept in my doula clothes, with my cell phone in hand, and woke the next morning with a kink in my neck despite Stela’s very comfortable couch.

I spent the next couple of days in a state of high alert, expecting to get the call at any second that it was time to go to the hospital with this mother. Day after day passed and it looked like this baby was in no hurry. Time and time again my client would start to have contractions only for them to peter out a few hours later. Soon it was Friday, Smoochy was due home LATE that night (or early Saturday morning to be exact) and still no baby. She had to be close! Every time the phone rang I practically jumped out of my skin.

At 10:30 that night I finally made myself go to bed. I was pooped and anxious and thought that I would need my sleep. I should have gone to bed earlier! At 12:30 midnight the phone rang and woke me from a dead sleep. I grabbed the phone and groggily answered,

“Hello?”

“Hello Rebecca…”

“Kay! Are you in labor?”

“Rebecca? No this is Rita (not her real name) the contractions are close like you told me they would be when it was time to go to the hospital…” her voice trailed off as she started to have another contraction.

Oh my GOD!!!! My second client had gone into labor and my husband was still not home form the airport! AAAHHHH!

Luckily my bags were still packed from earlier that week when I thought I was on my way to the hospital with my first client. I told my 2nd client to go on to the hospital ahead of me if she felt that it was time and that I would be there just as soon as I could. She knew my husband had been out of town and that there could be some complications with my ability to support her based on that, as well as my commitment to my first client. However, I felt horrible that I couldn’t pick her up and take her to the hospital as we had previously discussed. I did my best to remain calm and focused as I readied myself and waited anxiously for Smoochy to make it home.
It was an hour and a half later (two in the morning!) when Smoochy finally arrived home from his red-eye flight and taxi ride home from San Francisco Airport. I was so relieved to see him! Twenty-five minutes later after a hug and kiss; after he made me a PB&J; after her QUICKLY told me about his interviews, that I was on the road cruising towards my first birth as a doula.

TO BE CONTINUED…