Our California adventure started out perfect because almost as if by providence we embarked with our more family than friends: The M.K. Family. I have written before about how amazing it is that in the five years since Jacob and Matt graduated from the Naval Academy they have hardly ever been stationed more than a short drive away from each other. When the M.K.’s were in Jacksonville we were in Kingsbay, a mere 45 minuets even with Jacksonville traffic! And just when we moved to the East Bay the M.K.’s were stationed in Monterey so Matt could attend the Naval Post Graduate School there. These are friends for life, and the fact that we have enjoyed California TOGETHER is nothing short of fantastic. We have been able to spend holidays, birthdays, and many just for fun days with our very closest friends. It’s been a hoot!
And considering Smoochy and my slightly antisocial nature I would have guessed that would have been it for us as friends go. And it probably wouldn’t have been if it wasn’t for Stela. We met at prenatal yoga, back when we were mothers more in theory than in practice. I remember the first time I saw her in sweats and a bandana waddle into yoga and plop down on her mat, I thought she looked like a sweet girl. Stela has the most warm and inviting smile. Somehow we got to talking in the parking lot after class one night. Stela was just as friendly in person as she appeared. We chatted about our pregnancies: I knew I was having a boy, she and her husband were keeping it a surprise. We chatted about our husbands, about the town, and about doctors vs. midwives. I was so excited when we swapped numbers. When I got home I bragged to Jacob that I had finally met someone!!!
Stela and I started hanging out right away. We went out for Indian food, and met for yoga. After yoga we would go from there to the farmer’s market. Stela was easy to talk to, quick to smile, and always laughing. I really enjoyed her. But then our babies came and we lost touch for about two months. I was busy with a barrage of company; and Stela’s baby came six weeks early so she was busy with the NICU, breast pump, and her not so little preemie.
I’m sure we would have caught back up sooner or later, but it was thanks to Babies R Us that we finally reunited. Smoochy and I were there on a Saturday checking out the baby gear when low and behold there was Stella…without her belly! I was thrown for a loop because she wasn’t due till August and this was only July. Turn’s out she was on her very first outing since her son L. was born! It was so cool to be put back in each other’s paths.
Once L. was old enough to start leaving the house, the on-the-go Stela was chomping at the bit to be out and about so she started getting involved with some mommy groups organized around the local hospital were L. was born. And thank God, she dragged me with her. Every Tuesday was the Mommy n’ Me group that met to discuss baby issues in a round robin fashion. And every Wednesday there was a group of moms that met right by my house to walk a trail that runs along a river here. Actually, most of the mothers meet to RUN the trail, but Stela and I met to walk and to chat. It was a great weekly routine to get us out of the house and around other women. Since that time my weeks have been filled with Tuesday Talkies and Wednesday Walkies.
Wednesdays were always my favorite. Stela and I would do our four mile hike while the babies napped blissfully in there joggers and we would gab away. Our conversations centered mostly on the joys and perils of new motherhood in the beginning. We talked about breastfeeding problems, sleep issues, and the pros and cons of co-sleeping. However, it didn’t take long for us to start talking about more than just our babies. Stela and I explored our pasts, our family dynamics, and our goals weekly as we walked along the river.
After our exercise was out of the way Stella and I would head back to my house for sandwiches, chips & salsa, and still more conversation. The very first Wednesday I planned to have her over I woke up extra early, made sure lunch was set, and made the table in advance. I was so excited to have such a nice girlfriend and to be able to host for a little ladies lunch. I even took pictures of the table…
Stela has this amazingly warm and infectious personality. She only needs to meet a person once to remember their names, their kid’s manes, what they do for a living, and maybe even their birthdays. Seriously. She is the type of person that people love to be around, and since she in turn is a social creature herself, she is the perfect candidate to organize activities and groups of people.
Which is how I met Rosie and Suzanne. Actually I was originally introduced to them on Wednesday Walkies. I can honestly say I hit it off with each of these incredible ladies just as quickly as I did Stela. It was as if we had been hand selected by a higher power to all be friends. There were some crazy coincidences in the group that certainly pointed to something extraordinary. For one, Stella and Suzanne were born one day apart and their babies were born on the exact same day, in the exact same hospital, just down the hall from one another!
Anyway, week after week the four of us had adventures together. We branched out of our usual weekly meet-ups to include trips to San Francisco and even a monthly kid-free Ladies’ Night Out. Sure we talked about our kids. However, our friendship was based on more than just the fact that we were all first-time moms figuring out the ropes of motherhood together. I really feel like we understood each other. Maybe the fact that we were all figuring out our role as women, wives, and mothers simultaneously made it easy in a way to relate and truly get to know each other.
Well, I have been writing this post for several days now, bit by bit and I could go on and on talking about how incredible all of our friends are back in California. Stela and her husband Jamie (pronounced Hi-ma)are the most hospitable people I know. They brought us into their homes and their lives again and again. It was always a treat to laugh with them, eat with them, and grow with them as new parents.It was a blast to spend week after week hanging with Stela a L. all over town. We were such good friends that every impromptu visit was welcome; it didn't matter if we were still un-showered and in sweats, we were always up for a visit! The time we spent together was some of my most treasured memories of our California days.
And words can't even describe the love we have for the M.K. family. Matt and Smoochy's closer-than-brothers-friendship has united our families and helped cultivate this incredible bond shared by all of us. I know that Matt and his wife, (my true friend) Jen, Will always be an integral part of our lives. Whether it be just to chat or to give each other the shirts off our backs, I know our two families will always be there for each other. There is so much I look up to about them as individuals and as a couple (their FIERCE loyalty springs to mind). I am looking forward to watching our kids grow up together...and eventually get married! ;-)
And my lovely lovely ladies; Suzanne and Rosie; their friendships were the bright part of my California adventure. Rosie always made me laugh. She is a witty and strong woman. Rosie tells the best stories that are always relevant and poignant.(Unlike the rest of us who have a bit of a flighty streak!)I admire her self confidence and her no-nonsense candor. If you needed someone to (kindly) tell you how it is, Rosie is the girl to ask. She was definitely the commonsense in our group! I always really looked up to her.
And last but not least, Suzanne. This girl is my kindred spirit. We had just started getting to really know one another once Smoochy and I had decided to move. She once described our relationship from that point as "speed-friendship" and it truly was. Once she and I really started to talk it quickly came out that we have an unlikely shared history. I thought I was the only one in the world who had walked a path like mine; and to meet someone who had traveled such a parallel road made us instantly united. But, even if the two of us had come from different planets I would have loved her for her complete generosity. Suzanne is quick to anticipate what others need and is quick to give when she has the chance; and she always makes the chance!
I am so sad to be so far away from them all. It isn’t everyday that you meet people who you trust, who you love to be around, and who you can rely on. All of our friends on the West Coast are just like that. If they are reading I would like them all to know how much we appreciated all of the many kindnesses they bestowed on us over the last few months. Thank you for the going away party and the beautiful memory photo album you made or us; thank you for helping us watch Normy; thank you for helping us move;, thank you for being our family as well as our fiends! We will miss you all so much and we can’t wait to see you all again!
2 comments:
That was very nice Becca. I hope that we can meet people like that here in Kanas, because Lord knows that we miss our dear friends in Illinois! I've been keeping you in my thoughts and prayers as you all move and get settled.
Chiao,
Amber
oh my goodness... *crying*
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