Rethinking Hospital Birth

Simply stated, I have been thinking and rethinking my resignation to a hospital birth for New Baby. The more I listen to my heart, the more I read, and the more I logically process what a hospital birth would entail, the more I come to realize that it is worth imagination, money, travel, whatever it takes to avoid the hospital. My baby and I deserve better.

"Whoa whoa whoa," I hear you say. "What is stopping you from having the birth you want at the hospital? Can't you have a baby naturally there?"

Yes. I probably could. But to achieve a natural birth in a hospital all the stars have to align just right. To get the sorta birth I want I would need to be educated; have strong support; the right doctor or midwife; and then a healthy dose of luck. And I'm not willing to leave it up to luck.

Even if I manage to convince the nursing staff to only monitor the baby's heart rate intermittently, fore go the IV, and allow me to set my own pace during pushing it isn't likely that I could keep the lights dim, delay cutting the cord, or birth in any position I choose. Plus, I would have to be willing to put up with the constant flux of hospital staff; understand that my super cooperative Doc may not actually be there; and just generally put up with all that is hospital. However, the one of the biggest arguments for me against the hospital birth is my belief that though I could possibly have the natural birth I want in the hospital, my husband and I would have to be prepared to fight for it. And I want my baby's birth to be sacred and gentle...which would not include fighting of any kind. Good vibes only please. I recently read a great piece on this very topic by the illustrious Navalgazing Midwife...please read THIS!

And what If I go for the hospital birth and all the stars don't align? What happens if my doctor can't make it and instead I get the doctor on call who happens to be known as "Dr. Cut-It" or "Dr. Failure to Progress"? What happens if the nurse to who's care I am assigned thinks all women need an epidural and tells me so ever few minuets. Meanwhile she's turning up the lights and asking for the 10th time if she can check me for dilation...and for the 10th time NO SHE CAN'T!!! What if my hospital birth turns out like THIS or THIS?

I am not being melodramatic. I am not being paranoid. The norm in the hospital is to have highly interventive births. That's just the way it is...and that is exactly what I do not want. So why would I go to the hospital? Well, I'll tell you what, I'm not going to unless I really really need to. And if I were ever to need to go to the hospital I would go gracefully and gratefully. I would go trusting the doctors and the nurses. I would feel blessed that they know how to handle really sticky situations; that they know the art of cesarean sections; that the have all the life saving medicine and technology in the world...because at that point we'd really need it.

However, as long as I am healthy and my pregnancy is healthy I do not need a doctor and I do not need the hospital. What I need to give birth safely is a trained and licensed midwife and an environment where I feel secure. And thank God, my darling Smoochy generally backs me up. In this insistence specifically he's all, "What my baby wants, my baby gets." I love this man!

Sadly, what I want is for homebirth to be legal in Nebraska, and that doesn't seem to be happening quickly. (Although not for lack of effort, thank you Nebraska Friends of Midwives!) So we've been doing a lot of thinking outside the box over here at Casa de la Smoochy. We've kicked around a couple of ideas that I thought were super, but my more practical husband helped me see where not so realistic. Such as flying in a top-notch licensed midwife from another state. I thought this plan was perfect, but as Smoochy pointed out, um no... homebirth is still illegal here. Bastards.

Okay, how about I go to The Farm in Tennessee to have the baby? I really like to eat meat but I could go Vegan for a month or so if I had to! It would be a small price to pay to give birth attended by the most renowned midwifes in the country. Smoochy's response: "You are not going to Tennessee! For starters, how would I get there in time?!?!?!" Alright, not this baby but someday we might happen to be living in Tennessee and I just may find myself pregnant there! (I'm re-reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth so I'm kinda' "high on it" at the moment!) :-)

Thankfully, we still have other options. In fact we have what turns out to be more than an option; we have a solution. Check it out: The Birth & Women's Center conveniently located a mere three hours south of us in Topeka, KS! Sure, at first glance birthing at a local three hours away may not seem convenient, but it is actually a terrific. (um...momentary update...we just moved to the basement for our first tornado warning. However, Smoochy assures me all is well as we still have power.)

Anyway, the thing about the birth center is that Smoochy's mother and several of his siblings live in Topeka. The rest of his family lives in the other cities between Kansas City and Topeka. This means we would have our birth surrounded by loved ones! Plus there would be plenty of folks willing to lend a hand with Normy. I'll probably head down to Topeka a couple of weeks before my due date. I'd have time to nest in; have a few prenatal visits with the midwives; and get Normy used to a routine in Kansas. Smoochy would have to stay in Omaha for work but will have a bag packed so he can get on the road at the first sign of labor. Hopefully the Midwest February weather will cooperate!

There is so much about this scenario that appeals to me. I was wondering who would take care of Normy here in Omaha if we went to the hospital. Everyone in our family has work or school. It's not like someone could come hang out in Omaha from two weeks before my due date until the actual birth. Yet, in Kansas there will be his grandparents, aunts an uncles, great aunts and uncles and others who would be willing an able to help. Not to mention that our insurance will cover 60% of the birth center fees. Sure they'd pick up 80% of the hospital tab, but let me assure you that 60% of the birth center fees will still be cheaper than 80% of the hospital fees.

Being separated from Smoochy for so long is the biggest draw back, but I'll see him on weekends and possibly more. It's not like we'll be thousands of miles apart. Further, I really can't imagine there not being plenty of time between the onset of early labor and the birth for him to make it in time (knock on wood). After Normy's 44 hours of labor I can't even imagine delivering in under a day much less three hours!

So, there you have it. That's the new plan. We will be in Topeka this coming weekend for Smoochy's cousin's wedding. While we're down there we are also having our first prenatal visit at the birthing center. We'll get a chance to check the place out and meet the midwives. In fact, they are open Sundays for that exact purpose; so that out of town clients can take childbirth education and have their prenatal visits! We certainly aren't the first (or sadly the last) to have to travel to get the birth we want. It's worth it. I can't wait to write more about it... but for now it's time to bathe and to sleep. Good Night!

(The Tornado watch ended without incident, thank God. I had never seen a green sky before. It was crazy.)