When I take stock of where I've been, where I am going, and who I want to become I can at least admit that I'm moving in the right direction. Slowly. However, I am determined that 2011 is the year I get my shit together and really become the person I want to be. No more short cuts, easy ways out, or second guessing. For example, we did great last year getting most of our veggies from a CSA (during the growing season) and buying fresh yummy milk straight form the farm. Good and good. But, we are still eating foods out of aluminum cans (the liners of which contain BPA) and I am still feeding the kids hot dogs (organic and uncured) at least five times a week. I talk a good game about meal planning, do it for a week out of the month, then promptly fall off the horse. Before you know it, we've got chips and salsa for lunch and carry-out pizza from Costco for dinner .
The other BIG improvement I'm going to make this year is the way in which I structure my life with my kids. I am a stay-at-home mom to three children ages four and younger, so you know I spend a good deal of time with them. However, the time is still lacking a little quality. This past year was hard with a new baby and endless bouts of illness for me (one sinus infection, two bouts of strep throat, two bad colds, one horrible flu, a lingering cough, and a 12 hour stomach bug all since Lola was born in May) but lately my time with the kids has been all about surviving and less about thriving. We aren't doing things together much. I want to start crafting, baking, and playing with them more. Smoochy really gave me a wake-up call when he observed that I'm perfectly happy to just ignore them while they are playing nicely and he rarely sees me engage them unless I have to. OUCH. Possibly true. OK, probably true. Alright, for God's sake: TRUE.
So, my action plan doesn't involve giving up time cleaning or crafting but rather aims at incorporating the kids in those activities. I likely will accomplish less with their "help" but what we do will have more value. Plus, it's glaringly obvious that something has to give. Georgia has taken to starting every sentence with "Mother! Mother! Mother! Mother! Mother!" because (I guess) she's so used to not getting a response from me the first try that she thinks a machine gun style screaming for me is the most direct and effective means of getting my attention. Yikes.
So a lot of big things to work on in 2011. Also on the list: remember everyones' birthday with a card, be better about creating holiday traditions, and not putting Christmas preparations off till last minute. Oh yea, and not get sick ever again....
I'll keep you posted as I make progress.
However, I submit the following as photographic evidence that I have done something right as a mother. Normy loves spinach (aka leaves).
5 comments:
I think you are to hard on yourself! I suppose we all can strive to do a better job and that we all want to be the best mom we can be. From what I have witnessed, you are above average in your parenting! As a matter of fact, you are probably the type of mom most strive to be. So you might be content to just let your children play happily as you just watch. They are learning how to get along with others, how to share, how to pretend, and who knows what else their little minds are absorbing. They feel safe,loved, and protected just knowing you are near. You do a fantastic job and you put most of us to shame!
Totally, 100% second, third and fourth anonymous above. I would kill to have 5% of the mothering awesomeness contained in your pinkie finger!
You ladies are too sweet! Thanks for your faith in me. I'm not saying I'm not a good mom, I just seem to have hit a rough patch. I feel like it's good to recognize it, own it, and move forward. But, it sure feels nice to be told I'm awesome! ;-)
I have a laundry list of things to change in myself as well! I never thought it would be so hard!
Becca, I love how you always make me laugh. The machine gun tactic has already begun with Moses, and he's only one! I also appreciate how you want to do more with the holidays, since you have mentioned that previously. It's always a work in progress. Good for you! xo
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